After the aftermath

All of us that went on the trip have had probably three different types of reflection. Initial reflecting right after our day was completed in NYC, immediate post trip reflecting on everything we saw and did, and present/ future reflecting- remembering the large or important things we learned and thinking about how we are going to apply them to our lives right now and in the future.

For me, my present reflection happened everyday at school this last week. How am I going to organize my schedule to make sure I get the most out of every day? How will I change the way I practice to continue to grow and teach myself correct singing technique in the practice room? What pro-active measures am I taking to set up a successful transition into the next step in my journey? Am I enjoying all the little steps and falls along my journey? Is all the networking, constant self development, stress of finding jobs, and uncertainty worth the struggle?

Going through each day this week, I made it a point to make goals for myself that I could achieve within that day. I organized my schedule like I always do, writing down all my classes, meetings, and lessons I give for the week. Then I made a long term schedule for summer class, next fall, and next spring. I came across the realization that I have a very high chance of graduating next year, which was a terrific realization and slightly horrifying. In the practice room, I also made goals for myself. Instead of just having a schedule of things to do, I made a list of things to improve/accomplish for one or two songs rather than getting through an olympic size load of music just to say I got through it all. Having a set goal in mind made me take more time just working on technique for my music and thinking of ways I will apply it in my voice lesson. The pro-active measures I'm taking have to do with setting up my own summer program for myself, finding ways to build my dance skills, vocal skills, piano skills, perform in a show, give lessons/sing at weddings, and get class credits out of the way. It seems like a lot written out in a line, but once scheduled into an organized schedule, its not as intimidating. The key is not doing everything all at the same time. There are three months of summer...thats plenty of time...right?

When I'm done practicing and don't have the best day, or come out of class feeling like I haven't learned anything, or I'm just feeling completely overwhelmed from the demands of memorization and constant recitals/meetings to be at, I remember how gratifying the good moments are. Whether a good moment is feeling the resonance through my passaggio for the first time, or winning a competition, or feeling prepared for a lesson, they are all remind me why I chose the path of performance. Sure, having a good performance is spectacular, and there is nothing that can compare to that feeling, but I also like the journey. I like figuring things out for myself and being wrong, or losing, or falling down. I learn from those experiences. All the stress music students put themselves through for the five minutes of gratification sounds like a horrible deal, but in all honesty, those five minutes, along with finding happiness in the small things is what gets us through. So yes, the networking, constant self development, and uncertainty of the future is worth the struggle. Had I chosen a different career path, I know I would not be enjoying that study, as much as I love performance.

New York showed me that I still have the drive to be successful.

Abby