Finding a Pulse

Trying to put my emotions into words has been one of my biggest struggles since returning from New York. The feeling that New York gives you as an individual is something that is something you experience, not explain. New York City has its own pulse that you feel the minute you step out of the airport, and although it is overwhelming at first, it’s harder to leave than it was to be there for the first time. Coming back to Eau Claire has opened my eyes to the most important thing in my life – me.

Before going to New York I had an array of insecurities following me to the city from the unknown world of a big city, to fearing subways, planning out my one on one interview, and not being swallowed up by any foolish mistakes. It was the first time I would be exploring a big city “by myself”  and my gosh was I afraid. However, as the week progressed I think the areas I best succeeded in were my leadership skills as well as the growth I experienced in the courage it took to be a leader. I may have ended up in the wrong subway stations more times that I had hoped to, but I kept trying to learn from my mistakes, and keep exploring!

Throughout our time in New York, surprises were around every corner. I was most surprised by how open and willing to share each person we interviewed was – especially through my one on one interviews with Jon and Will! Each performer is more than happy to talk about their experiences and encourage aspiring performers to chase their dreams just like they are. The “reality check” our accompanist Ben gave us about waking up to a strange man was a bit more shocking than all of the actor’s stories, but even surprises like that are just another step in preparing to live in a big “pulsing” city like New York.

In returning to New York (which will happen mind you) I am really hoping to get myself networking earlier, and more diligently to be able to give myself and the group as many interview and experience opportunities that I can. All of our group activities were the work of excellent networking, and I hope to be able to contribute more on my next trip! I also plan on READING my NFT NYC book and gain more knowledge about the city! Every street holds its own surprises just waiting to be explored, and what better way to find them then to know about them! I want to eat more variety of food (and try Mitra’s Persian restaurant!) and also, most importantly, prepare for the elements better. Who would’ve known a girl from Wisconsin would be cold on a vacation….Once I’m back in NYC I’m going to bring a tangible journal to write about how much I have learned from my next adventures in the big apple.

The diversity that I saw in NYC was much like the diversity that I have seen in other big cities – large and in charge. Diversity runs the city of New York in the differences in appearance, personality, conversational interaction, kindness, and overall attitude towards living in New York. Yes, people are going to create music in and around the subways for music every single day, and then once you get off the subway you might see a car drive by that’s worth more money than some of the subway musicians combined will ever see. It’s a city with a wide variety of social and economic classes, but yet one of the most important things about New York, and the rest of the world, is to accept these differences, and keep to yourself just as much as anyone who lives there. The attitude of greeting anyone you see (“Midwest nice”) doesn’t exist there – it just takes a bit to realize and adjust to that. Harumph. Smile more, NYC! 

From all of my experiences in New York, the one that mattered the most was my personal journey and how the trip shaped me as an aspiring performer and student here at UWEC. My first goal was to able to determine for myself if I would even be able to survive in a city like NYC, and from there begin to listen to my heart and figure out my first steps towards shaping my future. I went to New York uncertain of my plans, I came back as a driven performer, and I write this reflection a month later facing the same confusion I did before I left. I am not sure if the “pulse” of the city has officially left me, but through all of the questions of things I need, want, and am going to do throughout the journey of this immersion, I am hoping to be able to take some time to listen to my own pulse, and let it guide me to the next journey in my life. Where it's leading me, I have no idea, but I think it it is due time that I finally start making decisions about what I truly want in life. It's a lot harder than it seemed. 

"Not a Day Goes By, Not a Single Day..."

In the words of one of the greatest musical theatre composers of our time, Mr. Sondheim, not a single day goes by where the New York City Immersion Experience doesn't cross my mind.  I am reminded of it one way or another; I run across a ticket stub or a playbill from one of the many incredible exposure of the fine arts and a phrase of a song or vision from a scene floats through my memory.  I find my hand scribbled notes written on the top of my score from my voice lesson on W 72nd Street with the fabulous Claudia Catania.  I pass one of my NYC colleagues and as we stop to give each other a proper greeting we talk about how much we want to go back.  No experience in my college career has given me as much as this Immersion Experience has.  And I was fortunate enough to go not one, but two years in a row!

As excited as I was for this trip, throughout the class I was little worried.  What if I wasn't going to learn nearly as much as the first time that I went on this trip.  What's it going to be like with an entirely different group people, ages, and majors?  The group from last year meshed so well, what if that doesn't happen?  We were fortunate enough last year that everyone came back in one piece, but what if that doesn't happen?  Needless to say, I came back with yet another notebook filled front and back with notes and pieces of advice, just like last year.  And even more mind-boggling opportunities and experiences, some that I didn't even expect!

December of 2011, the first group of NYC Immersion Experience was getting ready to start their own networking.  I remember sitting in the choir room as Mitra gave us our assignment; we had to set up an interview/lesson using our networks and sources in NYC.  I remember looking at her simply baffled.  I didn't know anybody in New York!  How am I going to do this?!  After writing my reflection paper that May (2012), I was satisfied with what I gained from my networking.  But a part of me knew that I could have done more.  I couldn't shake off the feeling that I could have dug deeper into the connections that I had in New York, I could have taken more chances.  That was one of my new course goals/objectives I set for myself this year: to take more chances and grow my network.

Last fall semester, I took an acting class that focused on the style of Shakespeare and Chekhov.  One day, we spent about forty minutes talking about this actress who has had an impressive career for the past two decades.  Her name was Laila Robins.  She's been on Broadway, off-Broadway, Shakespeare in the Park, done some TV and movie roles, and has worked alongside the likes of Christopher Walken, Steve Martin, James Earl Jones, and most recently Jude Law.  She went to grad school at the Yale School of Drama and was born in the St. Paul area.  But most importantly, she graduated from University-Wisconsin Eau Claire!  Our jaws dropped.  When I found out that she was still working and living in New York, I knew at that moment that Laila was who I wanted to meet with.

The process of finding her contact information, and composing and sending out the email was a long and tedious one.  Finally through the help of the UWEC Alumni Associations office,  I had her contact information.  It took me about a week just to write the email, making sure that everything was grammatically correct and well-written.  Finally I hit send.  I prepared myself by thinking, "IF she even replies, it probably wouldn't even be this week."  to my surprise she replied WITHIN the hour!  I was floored!

Laila was gracious enough to not only interview with me, but with the entire group, and invited us to conduct the interview the living room of her Upper West Side apartment.  The entire interview seemed like I was living a dream.  Laila was so incredibly down-to-earth, and gave us so many pieces of advice my hand cramped up trying to write everything down.  I just kept thinking, "She started out at UWEC.  She walked down the same halls and performed in the same university theatres, Kjer and Riverside like I'm doing right now!" 

At one point during the interview, Laila talked about she now gives coaching lessons for people of all sorts, including undergraduates preparing for graduate school auditions.  A lightbulb went off in my head.  I knew that Laila had played Titania from Shakespeare's A Midnight Summer's Dream in Central Park just a few years ago, and I was just cast in that same role here in the university production.  At the end of the interview as we said our goodbyes, I asked if she had any openings for a coaching during the rest of the week.  My heart was pounding in my throat, but I knew that I would regret it if I didn't try.  And it was one of my course objectives.  It just so happened that she did, and two days later I got to work with her on the monologues and the character Titania.  In a matter of 60 minutes,  I had a new appreciation and understanding of Titania that I didn't think was possible.  And the best part is, I made this happen.  I did the research, and plucked up the courage to ask, and it gave me this AMAZING array of moments and artistic growth.

The other main objective that I had for this trip (I had many) was to explore the neighborhoods outside of Manhattan, and figure out which neighborhood I wanted to live in first.  I knew that this was going to be tricky.  It is impossible to explore Manhattan in a week, let alone Brooklyn, Queens, Harlem, New Jersey, and the Bronx.  I began to do my research.  I quickly figured out which neighborhood I wanted to explore when I was out there.  I have heard about Astoria (a north-western division of Queens) from fellow friends and performers who have moved out there.  It is actually called "Actoria", because of its thriving artistic society.  I called up one of my closest friends who started out in Astoria before moving to downtown Manhattan.  When I met up with him for dinner on the trip, I was surprised to find out that he moved back to Astoria just a few weeks ago.  When I asked him why he replied, "I just love it there too much.  It feels like home and a good break from the crazy city life."  

After we finished our meals, we took the subway train through Manhattan and under the Hudson river.  Suddenly we were above ground, which is a sign we were in Queens.  I was surprised at the amount of time it took to get from the island to Astoria.  It was a mere fifteen minutes!  The sun was setting when we got off the train and began walking towards his apartment.  I was surprised at how clean and quiet it was, for "New York standards".  Astoria was no different that an urban neighborhood in the Twin Cities.  There were even budding trees!  And green bushes!  When I got to my friend's apartment, I was expecting a studio the size of a closet.  I was shocked when he opened the door to a clean, critter-free apartment complete with a living room, full kitchen, and a large bedroom.  Even with roommates, there was more than enough space to accommodate each person comfortably.  I decided right then and there with the proper connections and diligent research, you could find a place to live near the city that won't burn a hole in your pocket.

I left New York City with the satisfaction that I answered my two objectives.  But I came back and am in the process of setting even more goals for myself.  I know that it is going to be a great summer.  I found a job in Door County as a full-time server, and I'm growing and learning as a performer off the stage.  I am living on my own in a studio apartment that I found myself.  So far I have planned a strict budget set with money for food, rent, gas, and allowing myself a weekly allowance.  I know that I need to learn how to be smart with my money, especially when I am going to be on my own in a year!  Next, I have a list of books that I am going to read over the summer, not only pertaining to musical theatre, but also straight acting as well.  I am also setting the goal to find two performing opportunities in Door County, whether it be an open mike night or a planned set at one of the many outdoor restaurants/events.

Last year the 2012 New York Immersion Experience changed my life; I can say proudly that my life changed once again on the 2013 Immersion trip.  The biggest thing I learned is that you are never done learning, even when you graduate from college.  There are always more books to read, more plays to interpret, more characters to learn about, more classes to take, more techniques to improve on.  I am taking those challenges by the horns!  There are many people who say they are born to perform, but it takes so much more than that.  It takes sacrifice, confidence, and a dedication that has to come from every fiber of your being.  I say, BRING IT ON!

Reflections

I can honestly say the New York Immersion program was life changing for me. Life changing! It's not often that someone can say that. Now I don't want to sound dramatic and cliche and say that a week in New York has completely transformed me into a new person, but it did affect me on a deeper level than just a trip, or even as a next step in my career. This trip has changed me as a person, for the better.

This didn't all happen in the first few minutes of getting there, actually I wasn't even sure I liked it at first. When we got off the plane their was just too much to take in. I knew it would be a shock so I reserved my judgment for a while because I'm not the type of person to make quick decisions (I would have acted the same way even if I found it amazing from the get go). Things were just too foreign at first. For instance when we got off our bus I noticed that their were cages around all the windows of the houses we passed. Most of the looked fairly decorative, but nonetheless they were cages. This idea was too much for me for some reason.

Also the abundance of horns being honked got to me. For the most part I loved the background noise that the city offered, it was in a strange way comforting, like I didn't need to focus on any one thing and nothing demanded my attention over anything else. Which is admittedly a weird concept, but I liked it. However the horns would sometimes get to me especially at first. I am from a small town of eight thousand where a horn was very seldom heard unless a friendly old man was saying hello, or you did something really wrong and need to be told off. In New York though it seemed like it was a way for cars to communicate with each other. I gradually learned (or at least got the feeling) that it's not all about road rage as it is letting someone else know that you are there so they don't hit you, but still their were instances where I would see traffic backed up and people would be laying on the horn expecting that to solve the problem. So, I guess if small towns are good for learning patience because I couldn't grasp the idea of needing to make your car shout at a red light expecting it to turn any faster.

These of course were just some initial observations that stood out to me after a while I got more of a feel for the city and the people. I loved how the everyone was content to go about their own business. Although I don't always seem it like it, especially on stage, but I'm kind of a nervous person, and it was nice to feel like everyone wasn't watching me. It seems like the opposite would be true, but in reality there are so many people it was almost impossible for me to feel like they were all wondering what my next move was. Once again a very liberating feeling.

The subways are a prime example of this behavior, had this been Wisconsin everyone would be striking up conversation with the people they didn't know around them or being loud, but in New York people just kind of kept to themselves. Their was no need to be friendly. That doesn't mean they aren't nice people. It's just that there ate too many other people to be nice to, so instead you just keep to yourself unless an opportunity arises to be nice. At least that's how I took it.

While on the subject of subways I must admit they confused me. I wasn't too bad but even at the end of the trip I would find myself second guessing myself. In fact for the most part I never had to navigate on my own. The group seemed to have clear leaders as far as navigating went, and I began to realize about halfway through the trip that I wasn't one of those. It was at this point that I found myself in a position with more “followers” like myself, and we had to find a way back to the hotel. While it was somewhat scary it was also pretty cool. I have never been much of a map guy so I'm sure I looked pretty dumb attempting to decipher it, like a chimp with an upside down book I gave the illusion of reading. However against all odds I did figure out how to get back with time to spare (not a lot though...). I have to say I was pretty proud of myself even if it wasn't that big of a deal, and as a plus, during this little trek I found myself staring through the night sky at the top of the glowing Chrysler building. It was the weirdest feeling, but for some reason I felt very alive. It was like when people say they feel the pulse of the city, and they start stepping to a different beat. For whatever reason taking the thirty seconds to look at that building made me feel like if I were to live there I wouldn't be doing it alone, I would be a part of something bigger, because there are thousands of people like me who are trying to do the same thing and look at that building and get a similar feeling. It was pretty neat.

It's experiences like looking at the Chrysler Building that have changed me. I no longer feel like I need to get so nervous about the little things. If I can navigate New York, and talk to complete strangers about stuff I only know surface knowledge about, then why do I need to get nervous riding the bus or asking for help in Eau Claire Wisconsin? Sense I've been back I've been trying new things and working harder at letting the little things role off me. In general I'm living life more like I'm the only one watching.

I went to New York wondering if I could even survive there, and I learned that I definitely could just like eight million other people, and I learned that hard work and persistence does can pay off, it just might take a while. New York gave me a new attitude towards what I want to go into. I used to think that the odds of me even being able to support myself were slim, which is admittedly a bad attitude, but I didn't really know what the life of a performer was like. Now a realize that it's not so much a question of if you will make it, but when. It could take years or it could take weeks, that's just how New York works, but as long as you keep your flame lit and continue to work at your craft eventually you will meet success on some level.

I would love to get back to New York and try out the city again with this new mind set. Now that I have a feel for it and realize that I don't need to be so scared, it would be so much easier to go there and just live for however brief a time. I learned so much and am so grateful for the experience.

Reflect on: NYC love.

WHAT NEW YORK CITY GAVE TO ME

When I first applied for this immersion experience trip I doubted my internal desire. I felt that I was not ready for something like this. I was caught at an awkward moment in my art where I lacked inspiration. I believed that I was unprepared to head to NYC and possibly share my music at any time. A voice inside of me kept thinking,” what if someone I meet asks me to play… what will I play??”  Shortly after all of this nonsense I took a deep breath and thought I can do this. Getting the confirmation email telling me that I was accepted for this experience put me at ease. My mindset switched from a terrified student pianist to a more confident one seeking an out of this world experience. Let me tell you, that is just what happened.

In one of my previous blog posts I shared with you that this was my first trip on my own and far away. ALSO, it was my first time being on a plane, subway, and train. I experienced so many firsts on this trip! I enjoyed the flight! The train was fun too. At first the subways freaked me out… I quickly got over that but I never stood too close to the edge! The only thing that stressed me out was not being 100% sure if I was on the right subway most of the times… It was nice traveling with group members otherwise I would have been lost many more times than I already was… The biggest change that I learned to adapt to during the week in NYC, was allowing for travel time. Unlike the luxury we have in Eau Claire, you cannot exactly jump in your car last minute and expect to be across town in 15 minutes. Every day we had to allow 30 minutes at the least, as a cushion of time for traveling. I didn’t like the constant anxiety of wondering if I would make it on time to places. I literally would check my phone a million times every day just trying to keep track of time. It was definitely a different lifestyle.

            As soon as we arrived in New York City I felt myself change in many ways. Going into this trip I knew that I would need to make necessary changes to keep up with this city. For weeks I prepared myself mentally sometimes making up scenarios in my head and figuring out what I would do if I were to stumble upon situations. During our group time we discussed how the people in the city may be different than what we are used to in the Midwest. They were right. If I hadn’t of prepared myself and just expected to arrive and operate the same way I do here, I would have faced severe culture shock. To avoid this I went there with a very open mind. I was also very optimistic about this trip which I think helped me immensely. The biggest thing that I struggled with was my internal babysitting instincts that would kick in. I would see children on the subways with runny noses or kids straggling behind parents that were carefree. I know that things like this happen all over but knowing that the city can be very dangerous and insanely busy I always caught myself wanting to reach out and help like I typically would in Eau Claire. Learning to mind my own business was a change. One day I even saw a young boy walking home from school by himself. I was terrified for him. In moments like that my gut ached. I am a person that likes to be in control most of the time. The city showed me that I stood no chance being in control as much as I liked. I realized that in an atmosphere that busy you need to go with the flow. Like I said, having an open and positive mind saved me.

It was very strange to me how communities are so different everywhere you go… In the Midwest I feel like everyone works together in a sense and people are always helping each other. I of course am not implying that New Yorkers are rude (some are), but the communities there and here are VERY different! For example: one morning I stopped in Starbucks with Katherine. We got our coffee and on the way out the door I missed the step and landed flat on my face. (Well, my wrists saved me… THIS WAS SOMETHING THAT SHOULDN’T HAPPEN TO A PIANO PLAYER. BUT IT DID AND I AM FINE!) Anyways, on the street packed full of people not one person helped me. The kid across the street laughed at me while Katherine frantically ran back to save me. Realizing what had just happened I couldn’t believe it. I was in awe. In Eau Claire I know at least one person would have the courtesy to ask if I was okay. Also, not everyone in NYC behaves like that but that just happened to be what happened to me at that time. It was that moment that I realized in the city you need to look out for yourself and guard your feelings. I realized that to keep up with city you cannot just wander aimlessly by yourself. I needed to be strong and independent which I managed to try.

            With all of the diversity around me I have to admit it was a bit overwhelming at first. Going places and trying to speak to people and they don’t speak the best English, I never experienced that to that extreme. I felt like I was a puzzle piece of a 100000000 + piece puzzle. It was neat that in NYC there is so much diversity; it just took me a couple days to learn how to take it all in. I felt that I had every opportunity to enjoy any culture I liked there. Especially when it came to food… There were options galore. I kept an open mind at meal time and I tried to try different things! The only meal that I had in NYC that was absolutely awful was the old overpriced sandwich I got inside the Alice Tully building.

            I really used this trip as a time to learn. Unfortunately because of this I was not able to see a lot of the things that I wanted to such as the 9/11 memorial, Carnegie Hall, The Steinway Factory, and the FAO Schwarz store where I wanted to play the giant floor piano! Oh well, I gained valuable learning experiences. Besides, I was not there to be a tourist I was there to figure out my future and LEARN! I CAN JUST GO BACK AGAIN & AGAIN! :)

            Next time I will go there I will try to plan more and know my surroundings better! I went to places that I wanted to go to such as Juilliard, but I didn’t know the area and what else was around it, so I didn’t go and explore like I should have. We were so busy that we were always on the go; it would be nice to take some time and just go to places not be on a time crunch. Also, I met a great person in NYC however, if I go again I want to try and meet a lot more people. I networked but I wish I would have done more of it. I wish I would have been courageous enough to contact elite musicians. You never know what could happen… I took chances but in my opinion not enough!

            My two objectives for this trip are as follows:

1.       Personal: Would I be able to keep up with the fast pace of the city?

2.       Professional: Do I have what it takes to face fierce competition and what do I need to start doing to make my dreams happen?

Regarding objective number one, I realized that yes I would be able to adjust to the fast pace. Some days I did not like this fast pace but I at least knew that I could handle it. I did realize on this trip that I don’t want to live in NYC forever as a new lifestyle. I could do it for a couple years but then I would like to find someplace else similar to the atmosphere I live in now. (plus I would like to own a house versus renting an apartment... for a LOT of money...)

For my professional objective I figured out the answer to this mainly during the time I spent with Leann at Juilliard. With hard work and extreme dedication, yes I can make this happen. The trick is to be extremely confident with myself as a person and musician. I struggle with this on and off. I am always worried about the other “pianists” that I lose focus of my hard work, talent, and passions. I learned that I need to focus in and work work work! Leann told me that I need to keep a positive reputation and get myself out there. When she shared this with me I was at ease because I already do this. That is what helped me realize that my dreams are not impossible I just need to keep striving for excellence.

            The next step of my journey towards my career will be focusing in on my practicing and utilizing all of my time and resources. My goal/ project for the summer is to start memorizing a ton of side pieces that can be played wherever for different audiences. I need get my fingers playing up a storm and use the time I have now to prepare for my future!

            This immersion trip gave me confidence to keep pursuing my dreams. It helped my heart realize that I was where I need to be right now. I am very blessed to have been one of the lucky students on this immersion experience. Thank you to the loving professors that made this opportunity possible for us aspiring artists!

Sincerely,

Kayla Shoemaker

Sam Sirianni: Amazing. I want to go back. I will someday soon. Thanks to all who helped make this happen!

Wow. So now it has been over one month since our return from the Big Apple. I really loved it there. It was an amazing, stimulating, rich, loud, interesting, exciting, scary, new, lovely, breathtaking journey. I had a blast, and what’s more than that, I had an incredibly special, unique opportunity to meet some amazing people and see some amazing things that impacted me not only as an artist, but as a young man, and growing person. There were challenging moments, fun moments, “light-bulb” moments, and learning experiences. Sometimes all of those things were combined into one!

One major challenge was simply gaining my bearings in an entirely foreign environment. I pride myself on always knowing where to go. Knowing which way north, south, east, and west are. It was way more of a struggle than I anticipated; developing my sense of direction, but once I had it, I had it. And it felt great to pop out of the subway and know which way I was facing. After a week there, I felt confident that with a few more days I would be able to get around with very little trouble. I think these navigation skills come from growing up in a bigger city, and from my own personal interest in travel and transportation, and from a very young age, always wanting to know what is going on around me. Even as a kid, I would almost ride down the road in my car-seat playing with a toy or daydreaming, I would always be looking out the windows. I think this kind of awareness of my environment helped me take everything in, and helped me watch out for the people I was with. I think I was helpful in pointing things out that others found interesting, and helping the group get to and from various destinations.

My personal objective was: “To explore and test my comfort zone in a new place while connecting with this new group of students.”

-I think I found that New York (Manhattan) was an exceptionally rich and natural place for me to explore and test and learn about myself. I view many situations sort of as if it’s a playground or even an obstacle course, and it was easy to view New York that way. I enjoy challenges and figuring out creative ways to deal with new problems. I felt good helping with finding our way around, figuring out what time we would have to leave, where we were going once we got to a building, finding places to eat, coordinating meeting with other people and groups. -I’ve done a lot of that with my family, but not with large groups like this. My experience translated well. But of course I didn’t do it all myself. In a lot of ways the group kind of became a family while we were there. We all had to work together to make sure that our own needs got met as well as each other’s. It’s not always easy, and sometimes it’s stressful, and even frustrating. But that’s how it works, and we wouldn’t have been able to do all the amazing things we did without each other. I have no doubt that every single individual who came on this trip made it a better trip for me in multiple ways, as well as made contributions to the group as a whole. I connected with my classmates, and with many other new people who have forever affected and changed my life.

Sometimes there was a little tension and just general difficulty in coordinating 10 different people’s interests and schedules. As much planning as we all did ahead of time, one cannot plan for everything. I would like to think that I tried to be fair to everyone and help however I could, and remain neutral and level headed in figuring out conflicts of schedule and things like that. Overall I think the group handled that exceptionally well.

I was also very glad to contribute to the group by spearheading the mission to tour the Public Theater and meet multiple professionals during out time there. It was a great experience for me, and I was very pleased that many members of the trip felt the same way.

Throughout the trip, I also did my best to speak up, as questions, be engaged in discussions and listen thoroughly. I always sought out the individuals who had offered us their time and wisdom and personally thanked them and shook their hand. I think that’s important, and really the least one can do to show appreciation.

In terms of the novelty of being in New York, I was surprised by how close together things are. In the twin cities things are relatively spread out. –I grew up in Saint Paul and if I want go to Minneapolis it’s much more of a challenge than going across Manhattan. Manhattan is not so big as it is incredibly dense. And high. The subways work really well, but I was a little surprised that they were more old-school than I thought they’d be. I had assumed they would be newer with more technology. But the subway network is so huge and so old that it must be much more economic to simply update as necessary, rather than doing a complete makeover. In fact, I was surprised at how old many things were –and that’s why it’s always under construction all over the place. The New York you see in the movies and on TV and you hear about, the new shiny lit up one, is just part of Manhattan. Even in Manhattan there is much older architecture. It’s easy to forget how much earlier the east developed than the Midwest. By 1860 there were significantly more people in Manhattan (over 800,000) than there are in Saint Paul and Minneapolis combined TODAY (about 680,000)! The city has a long, rich history –which is one thing I would’ve liked to learned more about and seen more of.

You can’t do everything, but we were so focused on our specific goals that there really was no time to go to many of the amazing museums and buildings, and I didn’t even get to see Central Park!! I didn’t see Times Square until almost half way through the week, and I didn’t see the outside of Grand Central Station until the last night we were there. I saw TONS of awesome places, but there is so much to see that I will have to make a checklist for the next time I’m there. Doing more research ahead of time about what kind of famous and historic things I would like to do would be a really good plan. And even then I won’t be able to get to everything, which is exciting! There are so many experiences to be had in that place. Next time, I would also definitely try to spend less money on food. Which is a challenge, but I was a little happy-go-lucky with my meals… Also, I would like to be more well rested next time. I had just finished a bunch of midterms, and had gotten very little sleep the few nights prior to our arrival in NYC. I coped, but I definitely ran low on energy at times. Next time, I would like to be able to do more things on my own. I think it’s perfect that my first time there I had students and faculty to support me and experience things with me, but I think it would also be a valuable experience to become even more independent, and I think I am ready for that now. A very important thing I wish I would have done more of is journaling and taking pictures. When I was younger I didn’t understand the value in that, and now I can see how beneficial it is. Also, it was great when we had one day to make our own plans. I think it’s smart to make an itinerary, but I’d still like to leave one day completely open and just kind of wing it. I think some pretty cool things can happen that way, but it wouldn’t work for the whole trip! Overall, I really loved the trip and there’s not a lot I would do differently. It was an amazing first time in NYC.

As for my Professional Objective: “To analyze each experience I have, and each piece of information I encounter in New York, for the purpose of learning more about what it means to be an actor and a stage manager, especially in the context of what in means to me.”

I think I did an uncharacteristically (for me) good job of recording and reflecting on and internalizing many of the experiences and lessons I learned in New York. The 2^nd day there I bought a pack of three small notebooks. When I realized I would probably only use one, I gave one to Seth and one to Miles, and used my own to jot down notes from people we met with, and thoughts reflecting on things I did throughout the day. It has been great to be able to look back at this notebook, and I will treasure the little red pocket-sized thing forever.

I learned that the notion I recently conceived, of pursuing acting and stage management in tandem, is a potentially viable approach to pursuing a career in theatre, as well as supporting oneself in New York. I really hadn’t been sure if that would be a strength to have, or perhaps if it would divide my efforts and I would be better off focusing on just one. That would be a difficult choice, and it seems that as long as I am tactful in the jobs that I pursue and accept, I will actually benefit from having an affinity for multiple aspects of theatre. The idea is that one can find work in areas of higher demand and job security, while also actively auditioning and marketing oneself as an actor. Multiple credible people told me that this was a valid approach that they had seen many successful individuals use.

Furthermore, I learned more about and interesting path to gaining experience in stage management. As I described in a previous blog post,  I am now very interested in pursuing an internship in production management at The Public Theater.

Regarding lifestyle, I also developed a further appreciation for all of my fellow artists, including the students who were with me, and all of the young women and men who hang out in Haas. I’ve also gained further appreciation of Libby, my girlfriend of 4 years, who is studying musical theatre at another school. She is exceptionally talented, hardworking, driven, and she is a major inspiration to me. It’s been great to share my experience in New York with her as best I can.

I also gained some perspective regarding my vocal injury. For over 2 years I’ve been struggling to overcome a hemorrhage in my right vocal fold that never healed properly. I have seen multiple doctors and specialists, done various types of speech and voice therapy, worked with a voice teacher for a little bit, and tried many, many approaches to healing and taking care of my voice. Shortly before going to New York, I finally began to feel as if I was making SOME progress. So I began to take voice lessons from UWEC’s own Dr. Pereira, things were going well with him but I was still experiencing an internal fear and reluctance in terms of putting energy into my voice. In New York, we met a voice teacher named Claudia Catania, and although I wasn’t able to sing a song for her, she was willing to gently work with my voice and listen to me sing. She was extremely encouraging and her vote of confidence, along with Dr. Pereira’s encouragement and great teachiong, has given me hope and inspiration in pursuing my love of singing. She also put me in touch with a specialist in New York who I immediately called. She recommended a man in Minneapolis who may be able to help me. When I have the time in money, I plan and at least contacting him and exploring options. In the meantime, I will continue voice lessons, and PRACTICING. Along with other voice strengthening exercises that I have learned in therapy.

Some other powerful things I learned in New York are:

1. I have to be as prepared as possible so that whenever the opportunity arises, I can snatch it up as quickly as possible and be able to do my very best.

2. Only I can be the true source of drive and inspiration that pushes me forward. I can’t rely on others to push or pull me. I have to watch out for myself and I have to keep myself on track. Nobody else can do that for me. Support from others will always be good, but first and for most I have to be my own biggest supporter.

3. This is going to be extremely challenging. And whatever happens, right now I probably can’t conceive of how things will actually work out for me 5, 10, 15, or 20+ years down the road. And I have to except that and carry on.

4. Right now, what I am doing is right for me. I am absolutely sure of that. I’m scared, and I don’t know what’s going to happen, but darn it, I’m going to figure things out one step at a time, and put all of myself into this, and I’m going to keep that mentality as much as I can in everything that I do. It’s the best way not to have regrets. Just give it your all!

When we got back, I made some changes right away. I began eating much more healthily, and regularly, and it has helped my voice and given me more energy in a time when I am so busy that I need all the energy I can get. I have approached the productions I am involved in with a new level of intensity, focus, and passion. I have become more serious about working on my voice while also becoming more patient and forgiving of myself, which is very important in my healing process. I will continue voice lessons over the summer, I am registered for TWO dance classes for next semester, and I am developing a workout plan for the summer as well. I also plan to do some reading and monologue work during my first summer living away from home.

It feels too long since I visited New York. I miss it. I am so happy to have had this experience. I’m so grateful to Dr. Sadeghpour and Dr. Rieck and my parents and my classmates and everyone who made it possible for me to have this life changing experience. So much of what I learn not only applies to my pursuits as an artist, but also to myself as a person, and life in general. Even if I dropped all of this and decided to go to grad-school for psychology (which I don’t think will happen!), this trip has taught me so much, and I will never forget what an amazing, powerful experience it was.

Thanks everyone!!!

-Sam Sirianni

"It is our choices... that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities." - Albus Dumbledore, JK Rowling's "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets"

It’s been a month and a half since our New York City adventure, and there’s so much to think about after this wonderful journey.  I feel like I’ve learned so much about myself both as an artist and as a person. 

I'm on the journey of figuring out the next step in my life, and I feel that with the knowledge I've gained from this trip, I'll be able to do that.  I'm in the process of applying for graduate schools, and starting to become more independent in my life.  It's scary. I'm not going to lie.  But, life wouldn't be nearly as much fun without adventures.  So I just have to keep telling myself that I can handle this, and it'll eventually work out in the end.

My biggest surprises on the trip were how much I learned from (and enjoyed) the non-opera related events.  There was something I was able to take from every single performance, and every person we talked to.... it was incredible.  I guess I went in with the right attitude of thinking "oh, well, this'll be cool," and then I realized that my open-mindedness actually allowed me to learn and grow as an opera singer, because everything in life is connected.  There are just different ways to express the experiences we all face as human beings. 

The questions I had before the trip were practical.  We all had both personal and professional objectives, and both of mine involved the day-to-day life of a young artist.

Personal objective:  While on this trip, I want to determine how to survive in the city – I want to look at neighborhoods to find out my best options for housing, and I want to find inexpensive ways to do lots of different things (like work out, go to museums and concerts/recitals, buy food, etc.) I also want to determine the best ways to find friends once living in the city.

I feel like I won't just be able to survive in the city when I move there - I feel like I will be able to thrive.  I felt comfortable everywhere we went, and I think that I will be able to find a cute little apartment (that I like - that was some advice we got.  Always make sure you like your apartment!) anywhere near the general area of the city.  It will probably be an outer borough, but I'm okay with that.  I realized that there were so many things to do and see, and the majority of them could be done for free (or a discounted rate on certain days.)  The Not for Tourists book is incredibly helpful because it has price guidelines and recommendations for things to do on a budget, and once you're actually in the city, free and cheap events just come up. 

Professional objective:  I want to learn more about what it is like as a young opera singer – in that I want to learn about just how often auditions are; I want to know how much time I will have for my craft and how much time I will spend temping. 

I feel so much more comfortable with this.  I'm glad that Joanna said she auditions on average twice a week.  It makes me feel better knowing that opera auditions aren't just for a couple weeks of craziness when all the companies are in NY, but rather, that there are always opportunities.  I also now know that I will end up spending half of my time on my music, and the other half on living.  I'm fine with this - as long as I can have music in my life, I'll be okay. 

Jordyn Beranek

A Reflection (The Extended Edition)

                                                      NYC Immersion Reflection

Andy Steffen

            Who would ever think that a trip can change a person so much?   I have to admit that I thought that what I was calling a trip/vacation was going to be a trip that had some to no affect on me.  My thoughts and beliefs about what I wanted to do with my life were and had been set in stone, in my mind.  I knew that I would go to graduate school or teach when I graduated from UW-Eau Claire and that would be it.  Super simple, cut and dry, right to the point.  Little did I know that New York City would have such an immense impact on my thoughts, actions, beliefs, and disposition.

            The trip and experience was wonderful.  I learned so much from visiting and exploring the city.  I thought that I was able to function on my own quite well.  I was an independent individual while still being a part of the team.  One thing that made itself very apparent in the city was the amount of independence everyone operates on.  There are so many people living in New York City that when it comes down to it, the only person that you can really depend on is you.  Taking responsibility for yourself and holding yourself accountable was something that I strengthened on this trip.  Sticking to your word, following through, and being accountable for you actions/words are some of the most important things to do as a professional. 

            The overall experience of the music community I thought was great.  Coming from Eau Claire where music is huge and greatly supported made me excited to experience a larger and greater musical city.  Seeing many professional performances and talking to the performers and their journey to where they were was so eye opening and inspiring.  I have always considered and thought about pursuing a professional music career and seeing people (normal people) do it and be successful makes me confident in my ability to do the same.  It has increased my desire to work harder and set myself apart from others because I have that determination and motivation. 

            I think that one of the most surprising things for me was not just the “shock” of the city and how different a lifestyle it is from the Midwest.  I had expected that NYC would be different but I also didn’t expect it to be so easy to acclimate to.  I had expected that I would stick out and look like I didn’t belong.  Eventually, I realized that if I carried myself and began to embody what I thought a New York native I would blend in and fit the culture.   It helped me to realize that I could totally live there and not be concerned about my safety.  That was another one of my big surprises, realizing that I could completely see myself living in a big city.  There was so much to get lost and immersed in that I could be entertained and busy all the time, which would be nothing new for me. 

            In terms of diversity, I found myself being shocked with myself.  In one of the ES courses on campus we talk a lot about racism, culture/ethnicity, and stereotypes and how we can dismantle them in our minds and not perpetuate those negative thoughts, actions, and beliefs.  So, coming to New York, I was confident in my ability to not hold stereotypes true and keep my mind open and free of judgment.  There were a ton of things that we each saw and experienced that challenged us.  For me, I was completely challenged by the different cultural epicenters.  When Jordyn, Kelly and I went to Harlem to meet David for a coaching, it was the first time I had ever been completely surrounded by a Hispanic community like that.  I have been to Spanish speaking countries like Mexico and Guatemala but there that’s all the culture is and going to a place within America that embodies that lifestyle so much was different.

            I was also taken by the gay community in NYC.  I knew before we went that I would be in one of the few states in the U.S. that performs and recognizes gay marriage and I was interested to see what that climate would be like.  It excited me to see two men and two women fearlessly walking down the street hand in hand.  And while these sorts of actions can be done in Eau Claire, its reception is not always as warm and well-received as it should be.   Even though Eau Claire’s LGBTQA community is strong, the climate is less than conducive to public displays of semi-affection.   

            In terms of answering my question (personal and professional) I would say that I only made things more complicated for myself.  While at first it seems like it isn’t good, since the trip I’ve been reflecting on my experience and have realized the good in this.  Going into the trip, I was wondering whether or not I wanted to go to graduate school for composition, choral conducting or teach in the public schools.  This trip was going to help me figure out what I want to do and whether or not I have to choose to narrow my focus in life.  After meeting with people like Jim Bassi, conductor, composer, pianist, and vocalist, I have come to realize I don’t have to narrow my focus.  That was exciting news to hear and it made me excited that I didn’t have to give up anything that I’ve been doing so far in my undergraduate career.  The only thing is that since then it made things a little more overwhelming because now I have to figure out how to keep all of these facets of my life active and involved.  One thing that I am most grateful for from my interview with Jim were the critiques and advice on my compositions.  While most people would just thumb through and give general comments, Jim went through each piece with great detail and commented on my harmonic progression, voice leading, and overall compositional style.  He gave great suggestions and advice about how to improve my writing and take it to the next level.  One of the ways that has helped the most is using blank manuscript paper.  Writing has become ten times easier as a result and when I want to change something I can just start on a new line.  The lack of erasing helps with pulling new ideas and developing different sketches through time. 

            Since the realization from Jim I’ve also been considering two other facet: vocal coaching and collaborative piano.  Since our group meeting with David Sytowski, vocal coach in NYC originally from Milwaukee, I have been considering pursuing a career or training in this field.  As someone who accompanies and has accompanied many voice students over the past four years at college, I have seen lots of techniques and approaches, played a wide variety or repertoire, and have worked with lots varying levels of singers.  It feels like something that is completely within my element and personality.  

            The second thing that I have been considering since the trip has been a degree in collaborative piano.  As someone who spends a great deal of time behind the keyboard for others it makes sense.  As much as I dislike it at times, I really do enjoy playing piano and accompanying people.  Being able to do it better and work with all types of musicians would be a great skill to acquire and perfect.  As someone who will graduate with a bachelors in Music Education I feel as if my people skills are great, but working with musicians can be difficult at times.  Then again, people are people and that’s something I’ve learned as a result of the trip, too.  If we regard everyone on the same level as us it makes networking and building relationships that much easier and better. 

            Because of all of these new thoughts and potential career paths I’ve been overwhelmed about what I should do.  If I’ve learned anything about that though is that I can do whatever I want.  I just have to seize the opportunities as they come.  I can’t be afraid to put myself out there for people to see.  As a result, I’m going to continue to do what I do best: work hard.  I feel as if my hard work and motivation have provided and enabled me to do so many of the things I’ve done already.  So long as I keep a level head I feel as if I will be able to accomplish many of the things I want in my life.

            I think in order to make sure I get to this point I need to keep reminding myself why I love doing the things I do.  I know that this year was a struggle for me to enjoy what I love the most: choir.  This year was a huge struggle trying to remember why I love singing in choir.  Looking ahead, I need to keep in my mind and heart the reasons why I enjoy music.  If I want to stay as busy as I want to be with different areas, I need to make sure I am remembering the reasons I enjoy music and continuously seek it in my life.

            The entirety of the immersion trip has been truly life changing.  It has made a goal and ream seem more tangible and obtainable.  For me, I’m a person who really likes to plan ahead and the fact that I’m not really thinking too far in the future about my career after my undergrad is a little anxiety inducing, yet I’m okay with it.  I know that everything in the end will work out.  New York as taught me to be flexible with my life.  Things change and your ability to adapt and handle it is essential to surviving and making it in the industry.  I think that I can and have begun to learn how to do that successfully.      

Continuing the Journey

I feel so lucky to have been given this opportunity to have had this amazing learning experience. It has only been a little over a month since the trip and I already feel more confident in myself and my abilities. After experiencing NYC I've noticed many changes in myself. One thing I have noticed is that I'm more assertive and confident in myself. Being in New York and talking with all of the amazing artist has shown me that I have to be confident in myself and believe that I am good enough. I will admit that there has been moments since then that I have had that "little voice" come in saying I wasn't good enough, but I am learning how to deal with that "little voice" and not dwell on my mistakes, but rather learn from them. I understand now how truly young I am in my career and that mistakes are necessary for me to learn and grow.

I realize now that I need to accept where I am in my path. After seeing my first opera at the MET I was so excited, inspired and pretty overwhelmed. It seemed so unreal to me that someone could achieve that level of mastery. I can still remember feeling the resonance of their voices in my chest. I remember leaning towards the stage with my eyes afraid to blink because I didn't want to miss the next breath that went down into the floor and release of sound that seemed to be endless. After seeing that I realized how truly young I am and how hard I am going to have to work to reach that level. Now I know I want to reach that level, and I know it's possible.

I wanted to know how. How do you get to that point? That seems to be the million dollar question. After meeting all of the performers in NYC it seems there is no one single answer to that question. There is no one path that everyone must take. I realize now that you have to make your own path and trust in it. Everyone's story is different, therefor mine will be unique to me only.

Going into this trip I had a goal of finding out what I really wanted to do. Do I want to teach or perform? Now I realize that I don't have to choose right now. There was so much diversity in the careers of everyone we talked to from being a dancer to a vocal coach to an opera singer to an agent. They all emphasized how you have to keep an open mind and take the opportunities that come because you never know where your next opportunity will come from. I figure I need to learn as much as I can right now and take the opportunities as they come. The important thing is that I am ready to take those opportunities once they do arise. After being in NYC I feel as though I have a clearer understanding of what I have to do to prepare myself for those times.

Some of the performers I spoke to are currently making the switch between young artist and professional. It was helpful to hear them talk about their experiences honestly. After hearing their stories and experiences  I now feel that I could do it too. I really would love to be in NYC as a young performer auditioning and doing competitions, and living in a small apartment taking the subway every day. I would also love to be a professor at a university teaching young aspiring performers. Either way I now feel confident that I have the tools and ability to take the steps to get to those goals. I still don't know where I want to end up, but I'm OK with that because the journey seems to be just as important if not more as the end goal.

Kelly

Reflecting

My overall immersion experience to New York can be described in one word… actually, it can’t. This kind of opportunity was no doubt one of the best experiences of my life, and using one word to describe this trip would not do it enough justice to how it really was for me. During my one week in New York I learned, made mistakes and grew from them, experienced culture and new things, and got a glimpse into my life as it could be in the near future. I am very thankful for the opportunity to have gone on this with my friends and colleagues.  Going to NYC was exactly what I needed, and I am looking forward to reflecting on my thoughts, goals, and questions that I had answered on this trip.

            On this trip there are things that I thought I did well, as well as things I thought I could have done better. Something I was very proud of myself for doing was becoming more independent. I followed some of the older people around for a little while on the subways and streets, but soon I knew enough about them to go on with one other person or even lead people myself. I was pleased with how well I caught on, considering how confused and a little bit frightened I was when we first arrived. Another thing that I thought went well for me was my ability to truly enjoy every performance. Sometimes, regrettably, I sit through a performance, sort of enjoying it but sort of waiting for it to be over. I can say that while in New York I enjoyed every performance thoroughly.  It could have been the high standards of every show, but whatever it was, I took a lot out of all the performances. One of my favorites would have to be the Paul Taylor dance company show. The second half was my favorite, during the WWI dance. At first, I though it was a happy kind of tone, but later I learned of the true meaning to the dance and it was actually quite chilling. What Paul Taylor did with his choreography was genius. There were also a lot of things that surprised me on this trip. One of those things was how expensive everything really was. I knew that things were more than here in the Midwest, but I never expected how much they really were. That being said, living in a hotel was more expensive because you couldn’t just go to the grocery store and cook from home, which saves a lot more than eating out at a restaurant for every single meal.  Another thing that surprised me was the different way that restaurants are run, and the different kinds of service that you get there. There’s not as much hospitality at the restaurants in Manhattan, and that really took me for a spin at first and made me feel uncomfortable. But then I realized that that is just the culture and the mood of the city, and not everyone is mean, they’re just very straightforward no “bs” type of people. Accepting this allowed me to have a better experience. There are some things that I wish I could have done differently and will do differently for next time. One of those things is plan ahead a bit more. I feel like I started packing a little too late, and I did not bring enough clothes (surprisingly) so that was a bit of a downer, but very minor.  Other than that, I know I still have a lot of learning to do about the city, and when I have another chance to go, I will learn even more!

            There were many new discoveries I made on this trip both culturally, personally, and professionally. I came across so many aspects of culture during my time in NYC. One of them was the food I ate and got to experience. The first day I got there, we went to a Thai place called “Curry in a Hurry,” and I ordered a spicy dish with eggplant in it, which I had never tried. For the most part, I really enjoyed the dish and was glad that I tried it! Another culture aspect was the people. New York attracts so many types of different people because of its many opportunities. Being from the Midwest, we’re not so used to all of this, even coming from Milwaukee. I enjoyed being around lots of different people because it makes for a better and well rounded person who is not afraid of different cultures, and I was really exposed to all of it. One of my discoveries about diversity has been that if you feel uncomfortable with something, that’s ok. The point is to go for something and try it, and not worry about what happens as a result, as long as you learn something from it. One will not like all of the same things as another person; that’s what makes us different. A new discovery I have made personally would have to be my ability to believe that you can make it in the performing world. All you need is a hard work ethic, a positive attitude, and talent. Something important that I learned from this trip was to come into an audition, give it your all, and if you don’t get the job, don’t be upset or mad at yourself. Your only job as someone auditioning is to show up and sing. It is the director’s job to pick who gets the job, and you, nor any of the other auditions have that control. Realizing this gives me peace of mind and allowed me to go through my recent Les Mis auditions and callbacks with an open mind and a kind and non-critiquing mind. Even though I didn’t get the role I hoped for, I still got two callbacks for a lead, and now the directors know my voice and what I can do. It was not all in vain, and it was their job to pick who got the role of Cosette, not mine. A discovery that I have made in the professional area has simply been this: know your type. Type meaning, who you can play in a musical or opera. And the important thing is this: embrace it! I spent a lot of time trying to be a character that although I could be successful at it, it was going against what I felt comfortable with vocally, as well as robbing myself out of something or someone I could be really good at playing. Not to mention, I was really hurting my voice singing the way I was singing. I learned in NYC from multiple people who told me what my “type” was and received lots of direction from them, which was a HUGE breakthrough for me in a professional level, but can also be connected to my personal discoveries because it has directed me in such a good way.

                  My professional goal/question was about being a classical-musical theatre crossover. Is it possible? My question was answered on this trip: yes it is possible! With hard work and knowing exactly what kind of music you want to sing, it is possible. One of the hard things about being a crossover is having people trying to change you. One of the people in New York I talked with explained to me that people will try to have you sing things that you know you cannot sing, and it is important for a young singer to know your voice well enough to politely say "no." So in conclusion, yes it is possible to be a classical crossover, but using your common sense and knowledge of your own voice is crucial. This summer I will find out more about this question through voice lessons and being involved in theatre, so I can have that experience under my belt. Going to NYC made me realize I have so much work to do, and I cannot wait to get started! I'm still so pleased to have had this opportunity. :)

Laura