Wow. So now it has been over one month since our return from
the Big Apple. I really loved it there. It was an amazing, stimulating, rich,
loud, interesting, exciting, scary, new, lovely, breathtaking journey. I had a
blast, and what’s more than that, I had an incredibly special, unique
opportunity to meet some amazing people and see some amazing things that
impacted me not only as an artist, but as a young man, and growing person.
There were challenging moments, fun moments, “light-bulb” moments, and learning
experiences. Sometimes all of those things were combined into one!
One major challenge was simply gaining my bearings in an
entirely foreign environment. I pride myself on always knowing where to go.
Knowing which way north, south, east, and west are. It was way more of a
struggle than I anticipated; developing my sense of direction, but once I had
it, I had it. And it felt great to pop out of the subway and know which way I
was facing. After a week there, I felt confident that with a few more days I
would be able to get around with very little trouble. I think these navigation
skills come from growing up in a bigger city, and from my own personal interest
in travel and transportation, and from a very young age, always wanting to know
what is going on around me. Even as a kid, I would almost ride down the road in
my car-seat playing with a toy or daydreaming, I would always be looking out
the windows. I think this kind of awareness of my environment helped me take
everything in, and helped me watch out for the people I was with. I think I was
helpful in pointing things out that others found interesting, and helping the
group get to and from various destinations.
My personal objective was: “To explore and test my comfort
zone in a new place while connecting with this new group of students.”
-I think I found that New York (Manhattan) was an
exceptionally rich and natural place for me to explore and test and learn about
myself. I view many situations sort of as if it’s a playground or even an
obstacle course, and it was easy to view New York that way. I enjoy challenges
and figuring out creative ways to deal with new problems. I felt good helping
with finding our way around, figuring out what time we would have to leave,
where we were going once we got to a building, finding places to eat,
coordinating meeting with other people and groups. -I’ve done a lot of that with
my family, but not with large groups like this. My experience translated well.
But of course I didn’t do it all myself. In a lot of ways the group kind of
became a family while we were there. We all had to work together to make sure
that our own needs got met as well as each other’s. It’s not always easy, and
sometimes it’s stressful, and even frustrating. But that’s how it works, and we
wouldn’t have been able to do all the amazing things we did without each other.
I have no doubt that every single individual who came on this trip made it a
better trip for me in multiple ways, as well as made contributions to the group
as a whole. I connected with my classmates, and with many other new people who
have forever affected and changed my life.
Sometimes there was a little tension and just general
difficulty in coordinating 10 different people’s interests and schedules. As
much planning as we all did ahead of time, one cannot plan for everything. I
would like to think that I tried to be fair to everyone and help however I
could, and remain neutral and level headed in figuring out conflicts of
schedule and things like that. Overall I think the group handled that
exceptionally well.
I was also very glad to contribute to the group by
spearheading the mission to tour the Public Theater and meet multiple
professionals during out time there. It was a great experience for me, and I
was very pleased that many members of the trip felt the same way.
Throughout the trip, I also did my best to speak up, as
questions, be engaged in discussions and listen thoroughly. I always sought out
the individuals who had offered us their time and wisdom and personally thanked
them and shook their hand. I think that’s important, and really the least one
can do to show appreciation.
In terms of the novelty of being in New York, I was surprised
by how close together things are. In the twin cities things are relatively
spread out. –I grew up in Saint Paul and if I want go to Minneapolis it’s much more
of a challenge than going across Manhattan. Manhattan is not so big as it is incredibly dense. And high. The subways work really well, but
I was a little surprised that they were more old-school than I thought they’d
be. I had assumed they would be newer with more technology. But the subway
network is so huge and so old that it must be much more economic to simply
update as necessary, rather than doing a complete makeover. In fact, I was
surprised at how old many things were –and that’s why it’s always under
construction all over the place. The New York you see in the movies and on TV
and you hear about, the new shiny lit up one, is just part of Manhattan. Even
in Manhattan there is much older architecture. It’s easy to forget how much
earlier the east developed than the Midwest. By 1860 there were significantly
more people in Manhattan (over 800,000) than there are in Saint Paul and Minneapolis
combined TODAY (about 680,000)! The city has a long, rich history –which is one
thing I would’ve liked to learned more about and seen more of.
You can’t do everything, but we were so focused on our
specific goals that there really was no time to go to many of the amazing museums
and buildings, and I didn’t even get to see Central Park!! I didn’t see Times
Square until almost half way through the week, and I didn’t see the outside of
Grand Central Station until the last night we were there. I saw TONS of awesome
places, but there is so much to see that I will have to make a checklist for
the next time I’m there. Doing more research ahead of time about what kind of
famous and historic things I would like to do would be a really good plan. And
even then I won’t be able to get to everything, which is exciting! There are so
many experiences to be had in that place. Next time, I would also definitely
try to spend less money on food. Which is a challenge, but I was a little
happy-go-lucky with my meals… Also, I would like to be more well rested next
time. I had just finished a bunch of midterms, and had gotten very little sleep
the few nights prior to our arrival in NYC. I coped, but I definitely ran low
on energy at times. Next time, I would like to be able to do more things on my
own. I think it’s perfect that my first time there I had students and faculty
to support me and experience things with me, but I think it would also be a
valuable experience to become even more independent, and I think I am ready for
that now. A very important thing I wish I would have done more of is journaling
and taking pictures. When I was younger I didn’t understand the value in that,
and now I can see how beneficial it is. Also, it was great when we had one day
to make our own plans. I think it’s smart to make an itinerary, but I’d still
like to leave one day completely open and just kind of wing it. I think some
pretty cool things can happen that way, but it wouldn’t work for the whole
trip! Overall, I really loved the trip and there’s not a lot I would do
differently. It was an amazing first time in NYC.
As for my Professional Objective: “To analyze each
experience I have, and each piece of information I encounter in New York, for
the purpose of learning more about what it means to be an actor and a stage
manager, especially in the context of what in means to me.”
I think I did an uncharacteristically (for me) good job of
recording and reflecting on and internalizing many of the experiences and lessons
I learned in New York. The 2nd day there I bought a pack of three
small notebooks. When I realized I would probably only use one, I gave one to
Seth and one to Miles, and used my own to jot down notes from people we met
with, and thoughts reflecting on things I did throughout the day. It has been
great to be able to look back at this notebook, and I will treasure the little
red pocket-sized thing forever.
I learned that the notion I recently conceived, of pursuing
acting and stage management in tandem, is a potentially viable approach to
pursuing a career in theatre, as well as supporting oneself in New York. I
really hadn’t been sure if that would be a strength to have, or perhaps if it
would divide my efforts and I would be better off focusing on just one. That
would be a difficult choice, and it seems that as long as I am tactful in the
jobs that I pursue and accept, I will actually benefit from having an affinity
for multiple aspects of theatre. The idea is that one can find work in areas of
higher demand and job security, while also actively auditioning and marketing
oneself as an actor. Multiple credible people told me that this was a valid
approach that they had seen many successful individuals use.
Furthermore, I learned more about and interesting path to
gaining experience in stage management. As I described in a previous blog
post, I am now very interested in
pursuing an internship in production management at The Public Theater.
Regarding lifestyle, I also developed a further appreciation
for all of my fellow artists, including the students who were with me, and all
of the young women and men who hang out in Haas. I’ve also gained further
appreciation of Libby, my girlfriend of 4 years, who is studying musical
theatre at another school. She is exceptionally talented, hardworking, driven,
and she is a major inspiration to me. It’s been great to share my experience in
New York with her as best I can.
I also gained some perspective regarding my vocal injury.
For over 2 years I’ve been struggling to overcome a hemorrhage in my right
vocal fold that never healed properly. I have seen multiple doctors and
specialists, done various types of speech and voice therapy, worked with a voice
teacher for a little bit, and tried many, many approaches to healing and taking
care of my voice. Shortly before going to New York, I finally began to feel as
if I was making SOME progress. So I began to take voice lessons from UWEC’s own
Dr. Pereira, things were going well with him but I was still experiencing an
internal fear and reluctance in terms of putting energy into my voice. In New
York, we met a voice teacher named Claudia Catania, and although I wasn’t able
to sing a song for her, she was willing to gently work with my voice and listen
to me sing. She was extremely encouraging and her vote of confidence, along
with Dr. Pereira’s encouragement and great teachiong, has given me hope and
inspiration in pursuing my love of singing. She also put me in touch with a
specialist in New York who I immediately called. She recommended a man in
Minneapolis who may be able to help me. When I have the time in money, I plan
and at least contacting him and exploring options. In the meantime, I will
continue voice lessons, and PRACTICING. Along with other voice strengthening
exercises that I have learned in therapy.
Some other powerful things I learned in New York are:
1. I have to be as prepared as possible so that whenever the
opportunity arises, I can snatch it up as quickly as possible and be able to do
my very best.
2. Only I can be the true source of drive and inspiration
that pushes me forward. I can’t rely on others to push or pull me. I have to
watch out for myself and I have to keep myself on track. Nobody else can do
that for me. Support from others will always be good, but first and for most I
have to be my own biggest supporter.
3. This is going to be extremely challenging. And whatever
happens, right now I probably can’t conceive of how things will actually work out for me 5, 10, 15, or
20+ years down the road. And I have to except that and carry on.
4. Right now, what I am doing is right for me. I am
absolutely sure of that. I’m scared, and I don’t know what’s going to happen,
but darn it, I’m going to figure things out one step at a time, and put all of
myself into this, and I’m going to keep that mentality as much as I can in
everything that I do. It’s the best way not to have regrets. Just give it your
all!
When we got back, I made some changes right away. I began
eating much more healthily, and regularly, and it has helped my voice and given
me more energy in a time when I am so busy that I need all the energy I can
get. I have approached the productions I am involved in with a new level of
intensity, focus, and passion. I have become more serious about working on my
voice while also becoming more
patient and forgiving of myself, which is very important in my healing process.
I will continue voice lessons over the summer, I am registered for TWO dance
classes for next semester, and I am developing a workout plan for the summer as
well. I also plan to do some reading and monologue work during my first summer
living away from home.
It feels too long since I visited New York. I miss it. I am
so happy to have had this experience. I’m so grateful to Dr. Sadeghpour and Dr.
Rieck and my parents and my classmates and everyone who made it possible for me
to have this life changing experience. So much of what I learn not only applies
to my pursuits as an artist, but also to myself as a person, and life in general. Even if I dropped all of this and
decided to go to grad-school for psychology (which I don’t think will happen!),
this trip has taught me so much, and I will never forget what an amazing,
powerful experience it was.
Thanks everyone!!!
-Sam Sirianni
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