I feel so lucky to have been given this opportunity to have had this amazing learning experience. It has only been a little over a month since the trip and I already feel more confident in myself and my abilities. After experiencing NYC I've noticed many changes in myself. One thing I have noticed is that I'm more assertive and confident in myself. Being in New York and talking with all of the amazing artist has shown me that I have to be confident in myself and believe that I am good enough. I will admit that there has been moments since then that I have had that "little voice" come in saying I wasn't good enough, but I am learning how to deal with that "little voice" and not dwell on my mistakes, but rather learn from them. I understand now how truly young I am in my career and that mistakes are necessary for me to learn and grow.
I realize now that I need to accept where I am in my path. After seeing my first opera at the MET I was so excited, inspired and pretty overwhelmed. It seemed so unreal to me that someone could achieve that level of mastery. I can still remember feeling the resonance of their voices in my chest. I remember leaning towards the stage with my eyes afraid to blink because I didn't want to miss the next breath that went down into the floor and release of sound that seemed to be endless. After seeing that I realized how truly young I am and how hard I am going to have to work to reach that level. Now I know I want to reach that level, and I know it's possible.
I wanted to know how. How do you get to that point? That seems to be the million dollar question. After meeting all of the performers in NYC it seems there is no one single answer to that question. There is no one path that everyone must take. I realize now that you have to make your own path and trust in it. Everyone's story is different, therefor mine will be unique to me only.
Going into this trip I had a goal of finding out what I really wanted to do. Do I want to teach or perform? Now I realize that I don't have to choose right now. There was so much diversity in the careers of everyone we talked to from being a dancer to a vocal coach to an opera singer to an agent. They all emphasized how you have to keep an open mind and take the opportunities that come because you never know where your next opportunity will come from. I figure I need to learn as much as I can right now and take the opportunities as they come. The important thing is that I am ready to take those opportunities once they do arise. After being in NYC I feel as though I have a clearer understanding of what I have to do to prepare myself for those times.
Some of the performers I spoke to are currently making the switch between young artist and professional. It was helpful to hear them talk about their experiences honestly. After hearing their stories and experiences I now feel that I could do it too. I really would love to be in NYC as a young performer auditioning and doing competitions, and living in a small apartment taking the subway every day. I would also love to be a professor at a university teaching young aspiring performers. Either way I now feel confident that I have the tools and ability to take the steps to get to those goals. I still don't know where I want to end up, but I'm OK with that because the journey seems to be just as important if not more as the end goal.
Kelly
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