WHAT NEW YORK CITY GAVE TO ME
When I first applied for this immersion experience trip I doubted my internal desire. I felt that I was not ready for something like this. I was caught at an awkward moment in my art where I lacked inspiration. I believed that I was unprepared to head to NYC and possibly share my music at any time. A voice inside of me kept thinking,” what if someone I meet asks me to play… what will I play??” Shortly after all of this nonsense I took a deep breath and thought I can do this. Getting the confirmation email telling me that I was accepted for this experience put me at ease. My mindset switched from a terrified student pianist to a more confident one seeking an out of this world experience. Let me tell you, that is just what happened.
In one of my previous blog posts I shared with you that this was my first trip on my own and far away. ALSO, it was my first time being on a plane, subway, and train. I experienced so many firsts on this trip! I enjoyed the flight! The train was fun too. At first the subways freaked me out… I quickly got over that but I never stood too close to the edge! The only thing that stressed me out was not being 100% sure if I was on the right subway most of the times… It was nice traveling with group members otherwise I would have been lost many more times than I already was… The biggest change that I learned to adapt to during the week in NYC, was allowing for travel time. Unlike the luxury we have in Eau Claire, you cannot exactly jump in your car last minute and expect to be across town in 15 minutes. Every day we had to allow 30 minutes at the least, as a cushion of time for traveling. I didn’t like the constant anxiety of wondering if I would make it on time to places. I literally would check my phone a million times every day just trying to keep track of time. It was definitely a different lifestyle.
As soon as we arrived in New York City I felt myself change in many ways. Going into this trip I knew that I would need to make necessary changes to keep up with this city. For weeks I prepared myself mentally sometimes making up scenarios in my head and figuring out what I would do if I were to stumble upon situations. During our group time we discussed how the people in the city may be different than what we are used to in the Midwest. They were right. If I hadn’t of prepared myself and just expected to arrive and operate the same way I do here, I would have faced severe culture shock. To avoid this I went there with a very open mind. I was also very optimistic about this trip which I think helped me immensely. The biggest thing that I struggled with was my internal babysitting instincts that would kick in. I would see children on the subways with runny noses or kids straggling behind parents that were carefree. I know that things like this happen all over but knowing that the city can be very dangerous and insanely busy I always caught myself wanting to reach out and help like I typically would in Eau Claire. Learning to mind my own business was a change. One day I even saw a young boy walking home from school by himself. I was terrified for him. In moments like that my gut ached. I am a person that likes to be in control most of the time. The city showed me that I stood no chance being in control as much as I liked. I realized that in an atmosphere that busy you need to go with the flow. Like I said, having an open and positive mind saved me.
It was very strange to me how communities are so different everywhere you go… In the Midwest I feel like everyone works together in a sense and people are always helping each other. I of course am not implying that New Yorkers are rude (some are), but the communities there and here are VERY different! For example: one morning I stopped in Starbucks with Katherine. We got our coffee and on the way out the door I missed the step and landed flat on my face. (Well, my wrists saved me… THIS WAS SOMETHING THAT SHOULDN’T HAPPEN TO A PIANO PLAYER. BUT IT DID AND I AM FINE!) Anyways, on the street packed full of people not one person helped me. The kid across the street laughed at me while Katherine frantically ran back to save me. Realizing what had just happened I couldn’t believe it. I was in awe. In Eau Claire I know at least one person would have the courtesy to ask if I was okay. Also, not everyone in NYC behaves like that but that just happened to be what happened to me at that time. It was that moment that I realized in the city you need to look out for yourself and guard your feelings. I realized that to keep up with city you cannot just wander aimlessly by yourself. I needed to be strong and independent which I managed to try.
With all of the diversity around me I have to admit it was a bit overwhelming at first. Going places and trying to speak to people and they don’t speak the best English, I never experienced that to that extreme. I felt like I was a puzzle piece of a 100000000 + piece puzzle. It was neat that in NYC there is so much diversity; it just took me a couple days to learn how to take it all in. I felt that I had every opportunity to enjoy any culture I liked there. Especially when it came to food… There were options galore. I kept an open mind at meal time and I tried to try different things! The only meal that I had in NYC that was absolutely awful was the old overpriced sandwich I got inside the Alice Tully building.
I really used this trip as a time to learn. Unfortunately because of this I was not able to see a lot of the things that I wanted to such as the 9/11 memorial, Carnegie Hall, The Steinway Factory, and the FAO Schwarz store where I wanted to play the giant floor piano! Oh well, I gained valuable learning experiences. Besides, I was not there to be a tourist I was there to figure out my future and LEARN! I CAN JUST GO BACK AGAIN & AGAIN! :)
Next time I will go there I will try to plan more and know my surroundings better! I went to places that I wanted to go to such as Juilliard, but I didn’t know the area and what else was around it, so I didn’t go and explore like I should have. We were so busy that we were always on the go; it would be nice to take some time and just go to places not be on a time crunch. Also, I met a great person in NYC however, if I go again I want to try and meet a lot more people. I networked but I wish I would have done more of it. I wish I would have been courageous enough to contact elite musicians. You never know what could happen… I took chances but in my opinion not enough!
My two objectives for this trip are as follows:
1. Personal: Would I be able to keep up with the fast pace of the city?
2. Professional: Do I have what it takes to face fierce competition and what do I need to start doing to make my dreams happen?
Regarding objective number one, I realized that yes I would be able to adjust to the fast pace. Some days I did not like this fast pace but I at least knew that I could handle it. I did realize on this trip that I don’t want to live in NYC forever as a new lifestyle. I could do it for a couple years but then I would like to find someplace else similar to the atmosphere I live in now. (plus I would like to own a house versus renting an apartment... for a LOT of money...)
For my professional objective I figured out the answer to this mainly during the time I spent with Leann at Juilliard. With hard work and extreme dedication, yes I can make this happen. The trick is to be extremely confident with myself as a person and musician. I struggle with this on and off. I am always worried about the other “pianists” that I lose focus of my hard work, talent, and passions. I learned that I need to focus in and work work work! Leann told me that I need to keep a positive reputation and get myself out there. When she shared this with me I was at ease because I already do this. That is what helped me realize that my dreams are not impossible I just need to keep striving for excellence.
The next step of my journey towards my career will be focusing in on my practicing and utilizing all of my time and resources. My goal/ project for the summer is to start memorizing a ton of side pieces that can be played wherever for different audiences. I need get my fingers playing up a storm and use the time I have now to prepare for my future!
This immersion trip gave me confidence to keep pursuing my dreams. It helped my heart realize that I was where I need to be right now. I am very blessed to have been one of the lucky students on this immersion experience. Thank you to the loving professors that made this opportunity possible for us aspiring artists!
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